Ten.
Ten years today since my collapse.
Ten……….(as the cursor blinks at me)
Ten! I know I keep saying ten but honestly I don’t know how I feel about it. I didn’t think I would make it to ten to be honest……but there’s this feeling…..maybe shock? (no pun intended haha) a shock feeling of disbelief? to have actually making it to ten? Having done so many things in these past ten years? I dunno. I don’t know what the word would be on this feeling.
Grateful?
When I think of all the things I am grateful for it makes me cry every time, as I am typing right now tears come to my eyes.
I remember the collapse like it was yesterday, it was a very traumatic event that happened to me, our family, and to all the people who were there that day. I remember the doctors telling me when they implanted my ICD (Internal Cardiac Defibrillator) that it would need to be replaced in approximately 7yrs. Well 7yrs has come and gone, I am at ten and going strong, no replacement of the ICD for a little longer they say, maybe 2 more years yet. You are doing great! Nothing has changed. Which I am so happy about.
I was reminiscing with my brother K the other day, about how I couldn’t believe it has been ten years. He said, he too remembers it like it was yesterday. He laughed when I said “remember when I finally woke up in the hospital”? and all I kept saying was “what happened”? “why am I here again”? over and over again. While he looked at the nurse with concern because he just had explained what happened to me just seconds ago. The nurse looking at him and saying “don’t worry she hit her head pretty good, she will have a little temporary amnesia” haha. Don’t get me wrong I assure you it wasn’t funny at the time, but it is nice now we can laugh about it today. There were so many memories of that day we surely won’t ever forget and to be honest…..I am in a good place now in my life that I hope I never will.
So much has happened in the past ten years,
I have been able to see our daughters graduate from high school and college, get married, become mothers, our son graduate from high school, and become what he wants to be. I got to be there when our daughters had their babies, which I am so honoured to be. Which by the way we gained another grandchild – a grandson and other one coming in June this year.
I got to do the things I wanted like to become a reiki healer and help others, built a business, fulfill a dream of being a yoga teacher, made a podcast with my sister. I have been able to travel (before covid) and see some of the world and how beautiful little things are that we take for granted. We have moved 3 times in those ten years and it has been an experience. We got to meet so many people in those ten years that we will always consider them as family. We also have lost some people along the way…..it will be ten years since my dad passed(Feb15). Something I think also tributes to my shock of ten years, I cannot believe it will be ten for him as well. I still think of him all the time and know is around. He is always showing me signs he is around, which warms my heart so much.
I am sure the next ten years, however it may look it will be just as great as the past ten and more.
So here is to ten and to the next ten to come.
with gratitude,
S
